Updated: Mar 23, 2019
After a break up things can get pretty chaotic. Whether you cut all ties or somehow manage to stay friends, break ups can take a lot out of you. The people on the front line of this tends to be your friends and sometimes family. Though most times they don’t mean any harm there are still some pretty upsetting things they can do to actaully make matters worse.
Here are FIVE types of people that make break ups harder:
1. THE MESSY ONE
Now this is the one that has no real regard to your new partner (in the event you start dating which I hope you do eventually). They will see you with your new beau and yet they will steadily and confidently ask you about your ex. They will completely and coherently do this right in front of the new person which is pretty disrespectful. This obviously can create resentment in a newly forming relationship not to mention its kind of fucked up. Sometimes break ups happen and you feel like you had no idea it even took place, BUT— please do not be this person. No one wants to stand awkwardly with a person they care about while they engage in the conversation of relationhsip catch up.
2. THE DRAMA STARTER
The drama starter is infamous for screenshots and he said/she said. This “friend” will see your ex online, moving on with their life, posting pictures of a new beau and/or new life journeys and this friend just can’t help themself. They will screenshot any and every little thing and immediately send it to your phone. They will tell you every time they see them in public with another person. In the beginning your friend may not even upset you, you actually may find it noble. You might even appreciate the fact that they are looking out for you by letting you know whats going on. You will engage in conversations about how your ex downgraded and how they found new love awfully fast. You will likely text or call your ex and start an outlandish arguement about what you have found only to in fact make matters worse. You will laugh, joke and even poke fun, however, this is a guarenteed way to stay caught up in the past. Why would any friend want you to be caught up in someone who has clearly moved on? What good does it honestly do? Instead, block them, stop talking to them, stop asking about their day and their life. End the chapter and completely close the door all together. Its the only true way to actually move on with your life.
3. THE SIDE TAKER
The side taker has to be one of the most annoying in my book. These are the friends that feel a need to pick a side. Most commonly in long term relationships where the friends have merged and everyone is equally close. They will try to completely dissect as to why the break up happened, create a scenario in their head and run all the way left even if they don’t have all the information. They will chose the friend that THEY FEEL had been wronged in the relationship and stand for it. (Now— this does NOT include friends that were yours upon entering the relationship because they are more likely to side with the person they have known longer. However, this is not always the case) They will make the situation worse by adding fuel to the fire. They will get in the middle of all arguements and think they are doing something that is honorable. Honestly they are doing something pretty shitty. Break ups are hard enough as it is. Who wants to lose a friend as well? The best thing a friend can do is STAY OUT OF IT. You can still be friends with them both. Its rather interesting how many other things there are in the world to talk about other than an ended relationship, go figure.
4. THE NOSEY FRIEND
This is the friend that offers no real help or support. They really just want to know what is going on and once the gain that intel they disappear. They dont check on you, they dont ask how you are. They simply stop messaging or calling you. They just wanted to know for the sake of knowing and nothing else. This is the most common one and I am pretty sure they think nothing of it, but its pretty annoying being flooded with questions about why your relationship ended. Allow your friends to come to you instead of you just being “inquisitive.” If they haven’t came to you about it they most likely aren’t interested in sharing.
5. THE HOPELESS ROMANTIC
Last but not least is the hopeless romantic. This one isn’t as bad as the others, however it can be just as frustrating sometimes. The hopeless romantic is sure you two will get back together and they never let you forget it. No matter where the conversation is headed it will always go back to how cute you were with that person. They will compare all new partners to them while reminding you of all the great times you both had together. And because most people don’t showcase all the bad times in a relationship, obviously spectators tend to glorify the good moments. If a person is happy in their decision of leaving an old flame please don’t be the person to make them second guess that. Sometimes couples end up getting back together, however a lot of couples don’t. Allow your friend to process how they needs to, that way if they do get back together we know its because they genuinely wanted to.
I am sure you guys have experienced other types of friends that made a break up harder and to you I say,
keep pushing. Keep making the best choices for YOU and never second guess yourself. This is your life to live and no one can make a better decision about your life than you. Stand behind your decisions and live your life the best way you know how.
peace and love all.