Updated: Mar 23, 2019
I stumbled across the most impressive meme today! Normally, memes evoke laughter and such in me, but this one touched my soul and baby, it burned.
For anyone who doesn't know I am a self love and self esteem coach. I pride myself in my brand that encourages self care and personal accountability. I want people to learn to allow themselves to outgrow the things that weigh their spirit down while also growing to be the best version of themselves.
As the one who is a strong advocate for self love I found it incredibly important to speak on how moved I became by this post that made its way to me.
Don't let this tainted "self love" trend have you 50 and alone because you walked away from everything that "didn't serve you" instead of learning conflict resolution.
Social media is FLOODED by memes and posts disguised as useful advice and tips. Instead of taking social media for the entertainment that it is, people are beginning to receive these post as facts and whoa the problems are starting to overcome me with stress.
While I'd like to point out that it is important to separate yourself from things that TRULY don't serve you, I think there needs to be some clarification on what that means and looks like. It seems to me a lot of people are using this "self care journey" as an excuse to refuse to make amends, to say I'm sorry and to simply do and be better. It allows them to relinquish all the blame onto others while sitting on their high horse.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but honey YOU are probably the problem.
Every single friend who disagrees with your movements is not a hater.
Every friend who tells you about yourself isn't conspiring for your downfall and every person who requires you to step to the plate and be better isn't a drama starting bitch.
Just because someone is holding you accountable and requiring you to do better as a friend and a person doesn't make them toxic. Toxic people come in all shapes and sizes, including those hiding behind sage and self care memes.
If you are wondering if you may be toxic, here are some qualities of toxic people.
1. They take more than they give in relationships/friendships.
2. People are exhausted by hanging out with them.
3. They guilt trip when they don't get what they want.
4. They somehow always end up being the victim.
5. They never admit when they are wrong.
6. They aren't genuinely happy for the people that they love.
Every relationship (friendships included) that you become a part of require a certain level of compromise and reciprocation. It is assumed when engaging in a relationship with someone, platonic or not, their is a level of mutual respect and effort. Too many people are quick to write off the people who honestly care about you because you fail to accept and acknowledge your own personal responsibility as an adult, friend and partner,
Don't be that guy! Take the time to honestly deal with the issues you have with people, communicate the things you need from them as an adult. When someone comes to you with some toxic shit you are doing, instead of getting defensive, take heed and make changes.
Clean up your act, surround yourself with people who hold you accountable and simply BE BETTER.
Don't end up alone because you refuse to admit that you are wrong.
I hope this helps you place more of the responsibility on yourself, which is the only entity you have any real control over.