Countless times people ask me what they can do to improve their self esteem and start to really like what they see in the mirror. While this is a journey that doesn’t go away overnight there are many small things you can do to start to see an immediate change to your mental space surrounding yourself. Some of the tips will sound super small but I promise there is a method to the madness.
If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.
1. BUY CLOTHES THAT LOOK GOOD ON YOU!
This may not seem like a lot, but this goes a really long way. Over the years I am sure we have fluctuated in weight. If you haven’t kuddos to you, but this tip is for those of us who have gained or loss significant weight over time. Having clothes that fit properly and flatter our bodies makes a huge difference. Squeezing our new body into our old size two clothes does nothing but remind of us the weight we have gained and makes our bodies look so bad. We most likely won’t get back to the bodies from high school or before the baby so stop beating yourself up and restock your closet with clothing that makes you look and fee great! Even if you can’t afford to completely redo your closet buy a nice dress or single outft that flatters your figure and watch how amazing you feel. Hello selfies.
2. TREAT YOURSELF TO A SELF CARE DAY
Now I know this one can be kinda hard when you have a demanding job or kids and a family however it is important that you do this. Even if you can’t take an entire day, taking a few hours can still make a drastic difference in the way you feel. You deserve time uninterruped for you to center your space and reflect on how you are feeling. You can go to lunch alone or with friends, get a mani pedi or you can stay in bed and binge watch 4 seasons of your favorite show. Whatever you do it has to be time that you have set aside for you to relax and do whatever you want. We all have busy life but just as we are obligated to go to work and take care of our families and friends we need to also process the obligation we have to ourselves. We can’t be our best selves when we are tired, rundown and checked out. So even if you can’t do this for yourself yet, do it for the people who love you so they can experience a you that is clear of stress.
Journaling is so very important. Its the time you get to be completely transparent and reflective about how you are feeling about everything. Work, relationships, finances and everything in between. This neccesary activity will bring to you to a state of awareness, because when you aren’t aware you will feel all the weight of your problems and not know where it is coming from. Meeting your mind where it is before it gets too far away from you will help you in the long run and save you a lot of time being overly frustrated and agitated. Practice journaling at least once a day reflecting on anything and free flowing. Writing the first things that come to mind. Release that stuff, honey!
4. CUT OFF PEOPLE WHO DON’T BRING YOU PEACE
This tip is where most people struggle. While it can be the hardest, it is one of the most important. Cutting toxic people out of your life is unavoidable. The longer you hold onto them the more damage you are doing to your well-being. There are so many types of toxic people; the abusive ones, the one energy suckers, the jealous ones and the debbie downers. Simply put— cut out the people who aren’t aiding in your personal growth. A postive relationship should encourage you, uplift you and love you unconditionally. While that doesn’t mean they don’t tell you when you shit don’t stink because those friends are still greatly needed. However there is people helping you with love and some who just want to hurt you and break you down. Learn the difference. Surround yourself with friends who celebrate Want to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon. the small things with you, friends who support your ventures and genuinely love you for everything that you are. Life is too short to not have a million reasons to smile. Smile on!
5. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
Have you ever noticed when you see a child hurt or crying our immediate instinct is to make the child feel better. We tell them how awesome they are and hug. We kiss them for extra measure to makes sure they are genuinely okay, but when it comes to us we do the opposite. When we are hurting or crying we make ourselves feel worse for feeling. We don’t console ourselves instead we scold. This where we go wrong. We are in need of care and compassion just as the small child and we need to remind ourselves it’s okay to feel. Be gentle with your being and your feelings, be patient and show the love you show others to yourself. Identify your emotions, assess the issue, console yourself and give yourself time to calm down. We are all human and sometimes shit hurts. Cry it out!
Now the journey of self love and self esteem doesn’t end with this list, but I am hoping that this sends you in the right direction.
Do all things with love.