I am sure somewhere in your lifetime you heard someone say:
“If you don’t love yourself first no one else will,” or something along those lines.
While I don’t whole heartedly agree, I can’t say that I disagree either.
Hear me out…
I don’t think that you not loving yourself magically counts you out of the love pool. That is definitely a stretch. But what if — you loving yourself challenged the people entering your life?
Predators and Abusers tend to seek comfort in people who are meek, lacking confidence and/or wounded from life all together.
While this is NOT always the case this is certainly where they gain ammunition. They want someone who doesn’t love themselves completely because they are easier to control and mold into the person that they want. They lack self-confidence and sometimes even a voice to speak up about things, event the things they strongly agree with. They become comfortable in company even if it’s not good. They fear being alone because their being is a mirror of who they love. Their being hasn’t been created therefore without someone they are no one. Not literally of course, but figuratively.
Now on the other side of this logic lies the person who is self-reflective, confident and has acknowledged the importance of self-love and self-care.
The journey to self love is never really ending so this person won’t be perfect but will certainly be cognitive to the importance of healing and developing a sense of self. These persons are much harder to take advantage of considering their ability to be alone. They will only willingly enter love if they feel you are bringing value and substance. They do not fear being alone because not being with someone doesn’t subtract value to themselves. Being with someone just adds to the being they have already learned to love and appreciate.
Everyone is worthy of love, thats no brainer,
but you want a love that is an addition to your life not a necessity in it.
You are valuable and worthy of happiness: I want that for you, but not without the dedication and time needed to devout to oneself.
When you begin to love yourself, truly love yourself you will notice you move differently. Especially in love.
Things you will notice when you love yourself:
You will know what you want in your relationships.
You have a clear idea of what makes you happy.
You have discovered hobbies and/or talents you enjoy.
You will have things that you look forward to just for yourself.
You won’t tolerate disrespect from a partner.
You will have a life outside of your relationship as will your partner.
Theses are the things you should want to achieve.
These are signs of a healthy and manifesting relationship with yourself.
So while I don’t believe not loving yourself disqualifies you from finding love it certainly will make the odds of finding fulfilling and healthy love that much more challenging.
Start by loving you and watch the universe open its doors to you.