The Weight Of Being The Sad Friend + A Message To Your Sadness.

If you follow any of my platforms you see I speak pretty openly about depression and my struggles with it. You would think I am an open book when it comes to the topic, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Just like everyone else I struggle with opening up about it and being truly transparent with what this does to my everyday life. See, it has to be the perfect formula. Talk about it enough to spark interest, but not too much that people start to feel genuinely concerned.

People with depression are so good at hiding the sadness it literally comes as a surprise when people realize the severity of it. Especially when it ends in such tragic ways (ie. suicide).

People who typically struggle with depression will do almost anything to not be seen as depressed. We make our attempts at navigating a close to regular life.

We work.

We date.

We hang out with friends.

We pay our bills.

We clean our house.

While these things sound very basic, these simple tasks can be all the more daunting to someone struggling to stay above water. The worst part about it is no one around will even notice.

Being depressed means a lot of the time you will truly be fine. You will engage in healthy conversations with friends, you will rise to the new position at work and you will flourish in all things wonderful. But what goes unnoticed is that you have inadvertently created the dynamic of everyday! You have established your normal, your baseline, if you will and now you feel obligated to meet this baseline daily, even if its not authentic. Kinda unrealistic now that I think about it.

Now what does this mean for friends?

Having a group of real friends is a blessing. Whether it is one friend or a whole group of them, it is very reassuring to have friends that are there for you.

When I was growing up there wasn't texting and social media (age spoiler, haha). When I wanted to talk to my friends I had to call them or physically appear on their door step after greeting their parents, of course. But now, texting has replaced phone calls and social media has erased all necessity to actually connect with people. This has made it so easy to shield your friends and family from the truth of your daily life and EMOTIONS.

Log onto facebook

post a good morning post; "Good Morning, everyone. Say it back"

double tap a few pictures of the family

share a funny video of a cat barking