When we are single people put so much emphasis on alone time. Spend time with yourself, explore new hobbies or simply enjoy moments where you don't have to cater to others. Whether its to grow individually or simply past the time its wonderful advice, Bask in all things you because honestly most of us don't do that enough.
Now this is clearly a given when you are single, but somehow we forget the value of alone time once we are in a committed relationship. All the "I's" turn to "We" and the "Me's" turn to "Us" in such a beautiful form of total completeness. While this is to be understood; the importance of self care and alone time is at an all time high. So many relationships burn out so quickly because, simply put, you spent way too much time together.
Have you ever been in a relationship or heard someone speak on their relationship and the couple NEVER did anything outside of one anther? I'm not saying going out together, but every single task of the day they are accompanying one another?
Whew. I am drained thinking about it.
While being in love is beautiful, especially during the honeymoon phase you owe it to your partner and yourself to spend time a part. You will thank me later!
One of my favorite ways to do this in a respectful manner while still loving up your partner is to simply ask first.
This may sound dumb to a few, but honestly when done properly and lovingly it can actually be so rewarding. Your partner will appreciate you respecting their time and mental space which leads to more love shared. For example;
If you partner is in the shower and you want to join, simply ask before barging in.
They could have had a long day and want to unwind, relax and clear their mind alone as to avoid any arguments as a result of the day. By simply allowing that time, they were able to wind down and bring a warm and welcoming face forward.
If your partner is off a day from work, instead of assuming they want to run around and make bunch of stops with you ask what their intentions of the day are. Whether productive or relaxing they are entitled to make plans for themselves.
This one is great because sometimes we don't even realize we are bulldozing someone's plans. I try to make this one a regular question as to not overstep and upset my partner.
If you partner has made plans for themselves, ask before inviting yourself or intruding.
People have hobbies that speak to them in different forms. They can be for fun, relaxation or simply pass the time. These hobbies sometimes are enjoyed in groups and other times alone. My fiancee and I both enjoy working out, however I enjoy working out alone. It's my solitude and my quiet time. My partner respects that and will ask before accompanying me to the gym and it makes me feel valued and respected. This is why asking is so important.
If you and your partner are invited to an event, simply ask them first before solidifying plans.
Now this one seems simple enough, but if it were I wouldn't have to add it to the list. Your partner is not your accessory. They do not have to attend everything that you enjoy simply because they are your partner. Allow them to make their own decisions and be included in the decision making process. This will let them know that their voice is heard.
Asking permission is such a simple thing that I believe we overlook because it is so obvious.
You partner deserves to feel that they have a say and an identity within the relationship.
You are not two halves making a whole, but two complete and total entities. Those spirits require nutrients that come from many things, not just the relationship.
Love each other enough to truly value their personal time.